


family is sometimes found on the side of the road

by InPrisonForSparkling



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, DadSchlatt, Family Fluff, Fluff, Gen, Kinda, Sleepy Bois Inc as Family, Toby Smith | Tubbo Has Horns, dad!techno pog??, he inherited a mansion and loads of money, he/they pronouns for Tubbo!!, like hybrids (fundy schlatt philza etc.) still exist, listen. if you write dadschlatt i don't understand why you would make it angsty, quackity and schlatt are best friends bc i said so, schlatt is Rich, this has dad!wilbur now, yeah tubbo is also a hybrid, you're in the DreamSMP fandom surely you have enough angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-15 01:33:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28680408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InPrisonForSparkling/pseuds/InPrisonForSparkling
Summary: Schlatt couldn't just leave the kid there. That would be pretty damn cruel.dadschlatt dadschlatt dadschlatt- anyway yeah just a bunch of little stories about Schlatt and Tubbo!! this is. an AU obviously bc canon is sad and i need fluffalso because it's like impossible for canon-conforming dadschlatt to not be angsty(previously known as "bees!")at this point this is pretty much dads: the fic
Relationships: Alexis | Quackity/Karl Jacobs/Sapnap, Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Floris | Fundy & Wilbur Soot, Jschlatt & Toby Smith | Tubbo, Ranboo & Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot/Sally the Salmon
Comments: 73
Kudos: 324





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> OKAY SO i changed the last part of the chapter because it. wasn't working with any of my ideas hahahahaha  
> hybrids mature faster than humans during childhood, then it evens out. they're also mostly accepted in most places, but in some (like the town Fundy comes from) they're shunned or pronounced demons, etc. etc.

Schlatt really didn't expect this.

He's standing on the side of the road, car parked mildly haphazardly next to him, and he's staring at a child in a box.

He can't just leave the kid there. That would be pretty damn cruel. The kid's tiny and in a box on the road at night, for fuck's sake, and he- he has little _horns_ like Schlatt does!

 _Fuck it,_ Schlatt decides, _what do I have to lose?_

He tentatively picks up the box, and the kid's woken up. He seems a little scared. Schlatt stares into their eyes for a moment, trying his best to convey that he's not dangerous, and the kid seems to decide it's safe. They snuggle back into the blankets in the box, and something catches Schlatt's eye - a note.

It reads,

_My name is Tubbo and I like bees! I was born December 23, 200X. Please take care of me. My mom ~~doesn't want to~~ can't anymore._

Schlatt grumbles. They could've at least done a better job scribbling that part out.

He gently lifts Tubbo out of the box, blankets still wrapped around the sleeping child, and brings him towards the car.

At some point on the journey home, Schlatt realizes the fact that Tubbo's life, their safety, their wellbeing, is in his hands now. He doesn't know how to feel about that.

Tubbo turns over in his sleep, and one of his ears twitches. Schlatt smiles a little. He can handle this.

* * *

[so we are gamers]

schlapp: guys help

schlapp: i accidentally adopted a child

l'manchild: you what

dadza: I've done that like three times

l'manchild: schlatt what did you DO

schlapp: found a child on the side of the road

l'manchild: e x c u s e m e

schlapp: wilbur he has little HORNS. and SHEEP EARS.

schlapp: i couldn't just leave him there.

l'manchild: wait wtf

l'manchild: dad stop the car there's something over there

dadza: Okay??

* * *

Wilbur opens the car door and climbs out, steps careful and quiet. Now that he's out of the car, he can hear what sounds like... crying?

"Hey, who's there?" he calls out gently. The crying abruptly stops. Wilbur hears shuffling, and he slowly, carefully moves towards the sound.

There's a yelp, and now Wilbur can see him- a small fox hybrid, shivering slightly.

"Hey there," Wilbur whispers, crouching down to the fox's level. "I'm not going to hurt you, I promise."

The hybrid - who's probably a child, Wilbur decides - stares up at him, seeming a little confused. "Wh- who are you?"

Wilbur holds his hand out, smiling slightly. "Wilbur. I'm Wilbur."

"...Fundy," the fox says after a moment of hesitation. "Are- are you here to take me back to town? Because I really don't wanna go back there..."

Wilbur registers the singes on Fundy's fur, the cuts and scratches littered all over the fox, and he realizes what must have happened. "No. No, I'm not taking you back there. You don't ever have to go back, okay?"

And then suddenly, Fundy is hugging him.

"Wilbur..." Fundy squeaks, his young age evident in his voice. "Can I go with you, please?"

It takes a moment for Wilbur to register the words. When he does, he blinks. "Of course!"

* * *

l'manchild: ...i may have accidentally adopted a child


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HI I'M SORRY IT'S BEEN A HOT MINUTE  
> i forgot about this somewhat but i am Back and i'm ready to write the families!!
> 
> also idk if i mentioned this but?? Fundy is like 9-10 in hybrid years rn so not a Baby but still child

[so we are gamers]

SLAMON: wilbur my darling

SLAMON: love of my life

SLAMON: what does that mean. you adopted a child?? _accidentally?_ how

l'manchild: you see sally

l'manchild: there was a kid on the side of the road

schlapp: who the fuck is leaving all these kids on the sides of roads

dadza: i mean.

dadza: Fundy here appears to have left himself on the side of the road

l'manchild: ANYWAYS

l'manchild: the kid's name is Fundy

l'manchild: the place he's from seems to have been Not Nice

l'manchild: he's a hybrid, see

SLAMON: ...

[ _SLAMON has changed their name to SLAMOM_ ]

VERY HUGE Q: what the fuck guys

Karl Jacobs my beloved: what he said??

schlapp: ah fuck the kid is trying to climb on me

schlapp: little Tubbo i'm sorry i have to drive

* * *

Wilbur snorted. Honestly, his friends were _weird_.

"Uh, Mr. Wilbur? What are you laughing at?"

Wilbur turned to see Fundy looking slightly confused. "Oh, right. It's just a group chat with a couple of my friends."

Fundy's eyes widened. "Oh! That's- that's cool."

Then, Wilbur had an idea. "Hey, d'you have a phone?"

"Yeah, but, uhh..." Fundy laughed nervously. "It's a little broken."

Wilbur shrugged. "That's fine. We can get you a new one soon, but for now it should work. What's your number?"

Fundy told him.

* * *

[so we are gamers]

[ _l'manchild added Fundy to the group_ ]

Fundy: Uhhh-

Fundy: h,, hello?

SLAMOM: Hi there!

schlapp: sally why the fuck are you typing like that

SLAMOM: Because I don't want to scare Fundy??

Fundy: Oh, uh

Fundy: I backread

l'manchild: _o o p_

Fundy: ~~so i'm being adopted now??~~

l'manchild: I mean

l'manchild: i won't force anything but

l'manchild: if you want to be??

Fundy: sure :D

dadza: pog!

* * *

"Hey, hey- Tubbo, I have to drive!" Schlatt laughed, trying to get Tubbo back into the box. Tubbo whined, crawling onto Schlatt's lap.

Schlatt stared down at him. "You gonna stay there?"

Tubbo was silent.

Schlatt sighed. "Okay, fine, you can sit there. Just don't block my line of sight- why the fuck am I even saying that? You can't understand."

Tubbo looked up at him. "Da!"

Ah, fuck, there went Schlatt's heart. This kid was too adorable for his own good.

* * *

[so we are gamers]

VERY HUGE Q: guys pls

VERY HUGE Q: what is going on

dadza: Schlatt and Wilbur have both adopted children they found on the side of the road

sappitus nappitus: what

sappitus nappitus: i'm. so confused??

speedruns your face: yeaj :pesnieve:

g,, gogy: How did you misspell that so bad

speedruns your face: speedrunnin typing

Karl Jacobs my beloved: typical

blood for the blood god: GUYS UH

blood for the blood god: i found a kid??

blood for the blood god: his name is Ranboo he's an enderman hybrid

dadza: WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU ALL FINDING THESE KIDS

l'manchild: the side of the road apparently


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> two chapters in one day?? madness  
> karlnapity let's goooo

[so we are gamers]

blood for the blood god: no i found him in the woods actually

blood for the blood god: i was going out to chop some wood when FWOOP there's a kid behind me

dadza: a h

blood for the blood god: and you've got to understand this kid is like

blood for the blood god: a foot shorter than Bad. he's TALL

Fundy: sorry for interrupting but how tall is this Bad person??

SLAMOM: he's 9'6

blood for the blood god: YEAH

blood for the blood god: so obviously i scream

blood for the blood god: the kid apologizes profusely for scaring me, tells me his name is Ranboo

blood for the blood god: and apparently he doesn't have anywhere to stay

blood for the blood god: so i mull it over in my head, right? kid's scared and alone, doesn't have anywhere to go, it's about to rain or snow and he's an enderman hybrid

blood for the blood god: so i bring him back to the house with me, give him a blanket and a book, tell him i have to go chop some wood for the fireplace but i'll be back soon

blood for the blood god: and i finished chopping the wood, i'm bringing it back right now, and i'm freaking out

l'manchild: i don't think i've ever seen you type so much

l'manchild: but i think we can take care of him for now if he wants us to, we've got plenty of rooms

l'manchild: you should probably warn him about us coming back though

blood for the blood god: okay yeah i'll do that

* * *

Techno strode into the house with the wood in his inventory. "Ranboo?" he called out, hanging up his cloak.

Ranboo glanced up. He was still sitting on the couch where Techno had left him. "Oh, Techno, you're back!"

Techno chuckled. "Indeed I am. So, there's a couple things I need to talk to you about."

Ranboo stiffened up immediately at that.

"I'm not kicking you out, don't worry," Techno reassured him, and Ranboo instantly relaxed. Techno sat down on the other end of the couch. "So, as I'm sure you guessed from the size and the sheer amount of stuff, I don't live alone. I've talked it over with my dad and my brother, and we're all happy to have you here as long as you want to stay."

"I... I don't know what to say," Ranboo laughed nervously. "Thank you. Thank you so much."

Techno shrugged, smiling. "It's no problem. We're always happy to have someone new to talk to."

* * *

[so we are gamers]

VERY HUGE Q: techno did you accomplish the adoption yet

blood for the blood god: i wouldn't call it that but yes

sappitus nappitus: adopting every child you see must run in the family

l'manchild: it does can confim

schlapp: are you trying to fuckin tell me i'm part of Wilbur's family

schlapp: miss me with that sappy shit

Fundy: i think i like this family

dadza: i mean we're very cool

speedrunning your face: once Phil got me a huge cake for my birthday

speedrunning your face: and i mean HUGE

speedrunning your face: it was the most delicious thing i've ever tasted. and i'm not even a part of his family

speedrunning your face: if Wilbur is anything like his father, you're in good hands Fundy

Karl Jacobs my beloved: FIANCES

sappitus nappitus: KARL

VERY HUGE Q: KARL

Karl Jacobs my beloved: I finally packed all my stuff! We can move in together!

sappitus nappitus: oh HELL yeah

VERY HUGE Q: LETS GOOOOOO


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> platonic "i love you"s SLAP  
> the author is currently deep in the Denial stage of grief about Tommy. is this what it was like in the fandom after Wilbur's death

[so we are gamers]

schlapp: nobody answered my question

l'manchild: Yes, Schlatt, you are part of my family. You're annoying at times, I'll admit, but you are the best friend I've ever had, and even though you won't admit it I know you care a lot about me and Sally and Techno and Tommy and Phil.

dadza: oh damn he pulled out the correct grammar

schlapp: wil are

schlapp: are you serious??

schlapp: fuck i'm crying now, great job wilbur

l'manchild: h a h

l'manchild: really though you are the best friend i could have asked for. i love you

schlapp: yeah yeah i love you too you sappy fuck

* * *

Schlatt sighed as he pulled into his driveway. Wilbur was a poetic little shit, but he was a good friend.

Schlatt opened the car door and picked Tubbo up. "C'mon, little guy, let's go home."

Tubbo looked up at him and smiled.

Why did the kid have to be so _adorable_ , holy shit.

* * *

Fundy fidgeted with his tail nervously in the back seat. "Are we nearly there?"

"Yep," Wilbur informed him, "we'll be there in a couple of minutes. Uh, I should probably warn you, my brother Techno can be a bit... intimidating."

Phil chuckled. "No need to worry though, he's a total softie."

"Okay," Fundy sighed tiredly. "Can I go to sleep when we get there?"

"Yeah. In fact, I think I'll do that too," Wilbur pronunced, dramtically slumping in his seat.

"We have to say hi to Techno and Tommy and Ranboo first," Phil pointed out.

"Ah, crap, you're right," Wilbur muttered. "Toms'll probably be asleep though."

Phil pulled into the driveway and parked the car. "Alright, boys, we're here," he called out.

* * *

"Are- are there people outside?" Ranboo asked nervously, pulling the blankets tighter around him.

Techno glanced out of the window. "Yep. That's my brother, our dad, and, uh... this kid that I think Wilbur found on the side of the road."

"Oh, okay." Ranboo relaxed a little, but his guard was obviously still up.

Techno's gaze softened. "Really, kid, don't sweat it. They're good people, and no one is going to hurt you."

When Ranboo eventually replies, his voice is small. "...are you sure no one'll hurt me?"

And holy _fuck,_ that made Techno angry. Not at Ranboo- he didn't think he could ever get mad at this polite, nervous kid- he was angry at the people who made Ranboo be this scared. He was angry at the people who taught him that everything good was a trap.

"I'm sure," Techno reassured with a rare, small smile. "It's safe here, okay?"

"...Safe," Ranboo repeats, not looking at Techno. "Okay."

* * *

[so we are gamers]

[ _blood for the blood god changed their name to PROTECTIVE DAD_ ]

dadza: what does that mean

dadza: techno what does that mean


End file.
